Woman of Grace

A capable wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant,
she brings her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night
and provides food for her household
and tasks for her servant-girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands to the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor,
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all her household are clothed in crimson.
She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the city gates,
taking his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she supplies the merchant with sashes.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of her kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her a share in the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the city gate.
~Proverbs 31:10-31 (NRSV)

Why does this woman scare so many of us? Is she real? Is she possible?
Yes, and she can be you.

She is not Superwoman; all of her skills and actions are attainable.

First, she selected a man of good character, and he excelled at what he was gifted. Not all of our men will be "known in the city gates" but whatever their sphere of influence, they can be of good reputation. Be wise about whom you allow to woo you. But even if you have bound yourself to one who is of low esteem, you may still choose to be a woman of grace and honor. Perhaps your elevation will encourage his. But whatever his estate, do him good and not harm, after all, by your character is how you will be known.

Second, this woman is industrious. She hones her skills, supplies her household, directs her subordinates, engages in business decisions, maintains her health and strength. This lady is no slouch! You will not find her sprawled out on a couch eating bon-bons and watching soap operas, Maury Povich or Jerry Springer. She has too much positive good to do with her time. Also, she knows that her family is dependant upon her so she maintains her health and strength. When was your last physical exam, mammogram, teeth cleaning, or aerobics workout? Do you use your Wii to exercise your body and brain or does it sit collecting dust? When was the last time that you perused the shelves of your local library? What cultural events have taken place in your town which you attended? Don't allow yourself to stagnate.

Third, she knows value. She is not a gold digger, but she pursues high quality. Remember that field she purchased? And the wool, flax, and food? I am confident that she negotiated the best deals when purchasing all of these, and did not rush into any of these transactions. When you engage in an activity (sewing, volunteering, shopping, auto mechanics, painting, dancing...whatever you choose) do you do your best? Is your quality of output high? There is an adage "garbage in, garbage out," but I suggest that we reverse our thinking to "garbage out, garbage in." In other words, if I produce garbage I will accept garbage. Not this woman! Quality is the name of the game. But keep in mind that high quality does not necessarily mean expensive. Be a wise shopper.

Fourth, she knows her worth and she drapes her body accordingly. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. This woman was not self-centered, she was self-assured. Translated, she expects the best for herself and her family. Again, having the best does not mean spending all of your money. In fact, this woman made clothes herself. Not all of us sew these days, but we can still be wise in our purchasing decisions. The Loreal commercials state "because I'm worth it." I agree...I am worth it, but I won't pay full price if I can avoid it. And I always examine to ensure that flaws are discovered before I decide to buy. She was well aware of who she was and who she represented when she stepped out of her house. I am confident that she never went out in headrags, pajamas, and house slippers. Knowing ones worth does not only apply to purchases; worth also applies to our character and acquaintances. Value yourself. You are a temple of God, make sure that your temple is respected by others and by yourself.

Fifth, she extends herself to others. Because she does everything with quality, style, and grace her offerings to the less fortunate are not rejects that she would not use herself. Think of Tabitha/Dorcas in the Book of Acts and how the people lamented her death because of her kindness and the quality of the garments that she made. Our Proverbs 31 woman was probably Tabitha's role model. What is the quality of your offerings? Will you be remembered like that?

Sixth, her children and husband are proud of her and brag of her to their peers. She had no need to boast, her family couldn't contain their delight and extolled her virtues to whomever would listen. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how those on the outside view us, what matters is how those close to our hearts view us. How does your family think of you? Do they smile at the thought of you? What do you children and mates say about you to others?

There is so much more to share about this woman, but that will take a few more columns.

It is important to know that she is not an impossible standard to pursue. Set your mind, actions, and habits upon being a woman of high standards who is willing to be a servant to those in need - like Jesus is for us.

You are a capable woman. You are a woman of grace.

Be reconciled,
Gye